when it rains, it pours

So, I've been away for a while. Not because I didn't have anything to blog about, and not because I was too lazy to blog, but simply because all the stuff I would start blogging about was just.. negative. All of it. I found myself half way through a post several times, and I realized I sounded like nothing more than a whiny teenage girl. I didn't want my blog to become that.

The truth is, a lot of bad things have been happening lately. Or, at least it seems like a lot. Honestly, when I sit and think about it, it's just a couple things that snowballed, and my attitude was bad, and so it made it feel like a lot of stuff. I was living in a constant sea of anger and depression, and I was starting to drown.

We can touch briefly on some of the issues that were keeping me down.

-Dealing with all my emotions of this unplanned pregnancy. I know I said before that I was "happy about it now" but that wasn't the truth. It's just what I was telling everyone in hopes that it would just be true. (will try to write more on this another day)

-Toddler tantrums. Okay, I know everyone deals with the toddler tantrums. I know that we don't have it as bad as some, and we have it worse than others. But with the state of mind I've been in, I haven't been dealing with the toddler issues so well. It was just one of those normal, not fun things that added in with everything else made me feel like I was falling apart. (Absolutely more on this in the future).

-Modified bed rest. This just popped up in the last 2 months, and it has been HARD on me. It sort of correlates with the emotions of the whole unplanned pregnancy thing. But then it adds to it the feeling of being a bad mother because not being able to be active=lots of inside time & TV watching. (Again, more on this another day.)

While I didn't want to bring a bunch of negative junk to my blog, I also didn't feel right about just popping in to post about the happy, pretty things. This blog is supposed to be about my/my family's life. That life is filled with good and bad things. It's so easy to post about the good, and so incredibly terrifying to post about the bad. This post is just my little stepping stone at getting back to the blog. I'm hoping to find the courage to tell you about the bad, and I can't wait to share all the good.